March 2013 "Infertility"
Note: I originally posted this entry in March 2013 on my Kinderworld blog at kinderworldway.blogspot.com.
I was going to post about my infertility on that blog only, but decided I wanted to go deeper and didn't think it was appropriate on a teaching blog. I cut and pasted the exact entry into this blog.
Dear Blog Diary,
It's been a long time since I blogged! Almost 3 weeks! So much has been going on in my itty bitty world. I'm not just a kindergarten teacher in Kinderworld, but I'm also a wife and mommy.
I think it's so important to let other working moms, teachers and stay home mommies understand what goes on outside the teaching world in our own personal lives.
I love sharing my own ideas and inspirations as a teacher, but I really feel lead to share about what God is doing in my personal life as well.
I was very hesitant about sharing things "outside of the teaching world" on a teaching blog, but I have been so inspired and encouraged by other bloggers opening up and sharing about their lives, that I have decided to as well. I hope as I begin sharing, at least one person will be encouraged.
So here goes...
PART 1 (a vert short and condensed version): My husband and I just celebrated our 10 year anniversary last July. YEA! He is an amazing man and I feel so blessed God brought him into my life. We both came from big families, so naturally, we wanted to have a big family as well. Ten years ago, we thought by this time in our lives, we would have 3-4 kids. EASY PEEZY RIGHT! Wrong!!!!! After we were married for 2 years, we started trying for our first child. 4 YEARS LATER, we realized we definitely struggled with infertility. This was vey devastating news at the time! Especially since I love children so much! I found out I had PCOS (cysts on my ovaries, which creates infertility problems for many women). The fertility specialist said we had less than 4% chance of getting pregnant on our own and also with specific infertility treatments. This was a very emotional time. I felt angry and sad and that it was just plain unfair! I remember crying on my bed and my dad came over to my house. I'll never forget what he said, "Be patient. God has lots of little Eric and Jaimie's in store for you." This was so simple but it did bring me comfort and hope. Sooooo (good news), as we began moving forward with this process and getting all the medications and details, I found out on my 29th birthday I was pregnant with my first child!!!! Makena Kaelyn was born on November 14th, 2007 and her name means "Gift from God" and that's exactly what she was!!!!!! She is beautiful and sweet and truly a gift. So what did I learn... Although life can be unfair and messy and emotional, I wouldn't change a thing! Makena came at the perfect time and I learned so much about myself and truly what it means to be patient and faithful.
(Note: this really is just the short version....there are so many other details, but since this is my first blog diary entry about this, I'm still a little scared about sharing).
PART 2: Makena has been such a blessing and I love being a mommy. I'm like any normal mommy though and life can still feel overwhelming and busy and crazy at times (Especially when you're a kindergarten teacher too!!!! HaHa).
So, part 2 of my blog diary is really where I want to begin sharing my journey with you, especially in the next couple months.
Two years after Makena was born, my husband and I decided to start trying again for baby #2. For some silly reason, I thought it was gonna be so easy this time. I already had a baby, my body knew what to do, it was gonna just happen! Wrong again! Three years of trying later, NO BABY! I kept telling myself, this is it. I'm not gonna have any more kids. We can't afford fertility treatments. It must just not be meant to be. I'm gonna just give up. So why didn't we give up?????? Well, for the last two years, Makena has been praying for a baby sister and brother....TWINS to be exact. For her 4th birthday, she wished for this AND ALSO for her 5th birthday!!!! Really! And every night (literally), she prays for twins. She has taught me what child-like faith really looks like. There are no impossibilities with children. No what ifs. She just believes and hopes and keeps praying. The other night, she even said, "God, I have been praying for a long time for my brother and sister. I hope they come soon." It melted my heart and I knew I didn't want to give up yet.
So two months ago, my husband and I started seeing an amazing fertility specialist again. I am now 35 years old and in the new category for moms having kids "higher risk". After a lot of thought, we decided we are going to definitely move forward and begin fertility treatment next month. We decided to do invitro-infertilization, which is very EXCITING but also very expensive (especially on a teacher and police officer salary). This is really another reason I wanted to blog about this. I have started meeting so many other women struggling with the same issues. What should we do? Can we afford this? For us, this is really what it came down too. When we are 60 years old, will we regret trying or not trying? Easy answer. We will never regret trying. It might be harder, more emotional, and more expensive but it will be so worth it!!!!!
So the journey begins!
I am a kindergarten teacher but I am also a mommy. In the next couple months, I will keep posting classroom ideas and inspirations, but I will also be blogging about the itty bitty part of me. Life outside of the classroom. I hope you will be a part of this journey with me!!!!
